Ending A Relationship

Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this:

· Walk dog
· Water plants
· Break up with significant other

While ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it.

The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party  does not gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Do not  put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you have learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Do not take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But do not let them make you feel guilty. You are ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it is best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.
 

How to Choose the Best Books On Relationships

Best Seller Books On Relationships May Make A Fool Of You

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?

In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…

First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.

For instance,

will the book tell you what women crave the most?

Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her?

Will the book show you how to recover from an affair?

Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?
 

How to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away

Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to break up?

If you were well on your way to creating a happy relationship and somehow managed to fall off the track, don't worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back with the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here.

First, you are going to want to ask yourself four vital questions. These are really important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.

- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting?

- Is it even really appropriate to argue about this matter right now?

- Can anything be changed or made different by prevailing in the argument or is it more worthwhile to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?

- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?

If you answer no to any of the aforementioned questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it slide. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled if a large argument is settled. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing argument are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on.

The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop fretting so hard about how you are being perceived.

It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. You want to let go on these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you actually are, rather than who you are trying to be.

Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counter intuitive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when true resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It's important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation.

Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.

Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you care significantly for.

These are just the beginning steps in how to win your ex boyfriend back without driving him away. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

ROBBED at Gunpoint!

Is there something you can learn by being
robbed at gunpoint?

As TW Jackson explains in the Magic Of Making Up System

after your initial contact...you want to set up your
"1st Date" again.

AND...the MOST important part, the secret and
the part nobody else but T Dub will tell ya :-)...is the date HAS
to be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED.

Okay?

That DOES NOT mean 'dinner and a movie'.

because...well...it's BORING...and does not
create a bonding...or in our case a RE-bonding
experience.

In fact, you want to pack in several emotionally
charged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

Why?

If you just do 'dinner and a movie' you lose
out on a Sociologically PROVEN principle...

emotionally charged experiences = bond

Look at it in another way.

Last time you went to the bank, do you
remember the person in line in front of you?

Behind you?

Probably not. Me either.

But...

What if while you were in the bank, it
was ROBBED AT GUNPOINT?

and the robbers couldn't get the safe open. The
robbers are livid, screaming and waving huge guns
around. The tension feels so thick you could
cut through it with a knife.

You are lying face down on the cold bank floor
and can see your breath fogging up the tile below.

You are trembling...because it is eerily silent
for a moment.

"Oh my god!"

"Where are the robbers?"

"Are they behind me?"

"Are they watching me?"

So you slowly move your eyes around and
see a sweet older lady lying right next to you.

She looks a little like Grandma, and you come
out of your own haze enough to realize that she
is even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing.

You slowly reach out and take her hand in yours
and give her a little squeeze that says..."it's gonna
be all right."

NOW!

Let me ask?

Are you going to EVER forget that older lady?

and...

Do you think she will EVER forget you?

Not in a million Sundays!

Now...I'm not saying to go rob a bank on
your first date! LOL.

But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLY
charged and exciting date...and preferably several
mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.

T Dub teaches you more about things like emotionally
charged dates in the Magic Of Making Up System.

You'll also discover psychological tactics and techniques
you can use to get you BACK on that first date with your
ex again.

Best Wishes,
Violeta Esplana

PS Get a special unannounced bonus called 'Mind Magic'
when you reserve your copy of the Magic Of Making Up
System through this special link:


 

Your Heartbroken Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

Heartbroken Can I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

If you been through a breakup, you are probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day. Every relationship is different, so every break up is different. But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

Be nice.

That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you are just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he will  only want to see you less and less.

Do not  drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you are around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.

If you ware ondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who does not make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably do not seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you were not more pleasant when you were together.

You ca  not change the past, but do remember that later when you are  back together. Discuss with  him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but do not expect him to admit it now.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he is focused on the new relationship. You are  part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he is  missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you are  thinking of, even if it does not seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What is  the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It is  possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you have  moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy.

If you are considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that is not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually do not work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these are not my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

How toConquer Fear of Flying

 

Flying is often an anxious experience for the average person, so it’s understandable that it poses a difficult challenge for a person with high anxiety and frequent panic attacks.

I’m going to demonstrate how to apply the 21 Second Countdown to conquer a fear of flying—so you’ll feel confident and safe within yourself while flying both long and short distances.

Most people who suffer from panic attacks generally don’t fear a mechanical failure in the aircraft, but rather a failure within themselves (i.e., an out-of-control episode of sheer panic while flying). This is because people who experience panic attacks feel like they’re walking around with an internal bomb that could go off at any moment, sending them into a downward spiral of panic. If this “internal bomb” goes off in a safe place, such as the home, it’s much easier to deal with because that environment is a safe zone in the person’s mind. Being thirty thousand feet in the air creates the dilemma of not feeling safe and comfortable in the environment. An element of claustrophobia also often manifests itself with fear of flying. The person experiencing the anxiety frequently feels a need for more open space or somewhere to hide and be alone, away from other people.

If you’re affected by airplane anxiety, your initial attitude when you book your flight is important. Be excited that you have this opportunity. Remind yourself that while on the plane, you’ll have new techniques on hand to help you overcome your fear and enable you to fly to far away destinations. Don’t worry—you’ll be perfectly safe on board.

Often, a carefree flight begins the night before. Try to ensure that you get some good rest before your departure. Fatigue can cause excess stress. On the day of the flight organize your schedule as best as possible, ensuring there’s no hassle getting to the airport, passing through customs, etc. You can do this by giving yourself plenty of time. There’s no point in adding more stress to an already nervous trip simply because you have to rush through the airport at the last minute.

As you board the airplane, reaffirm the fact that should the anxiety manifest itself, it won’t damage you. As you’ve always done in the past, you’ll move through a period of anxiety unharmed, and being in an airplane doesn’t mean that you’re in a situation where these thoughts don’t apply. So here’s your new approach to flying.

You board the plane, not in the hope that you’ll feel relaxed and calm, but in the hope that you will experience the anxiety and have an opportunity to process it.

As always, the real trick to making this approach fully effective is to completely throw yourself into the experience. If you hold a thought that all feelings or sensations of anxiety are bad, then that will only terrify you more and make you feel less positive about flying. Allow yourself to feel anxious and expect you will probably feel anxious some time before the flight.

Capt. Tom Bunn of the SOAR fear of flying course recommends anxious flyers should not hide their anxiety from the crew and to, in fact, request a short meeting with the pilot during boarding. He suggests that just a simple hello and a few words with the pilot can erase a large percentage of the fearful flyer’s anxiety.

Now take your seat and if you’re not feeling any of the familiar anxious sensations, ask them to make themselves felt while the rest of the passengers board. If the sensations are there, you want them to reveal themselves. You can do this because you’re not hiding or running away from them. You’re not sitting in your seat praying that they don’t appear. Remember how you reacted before when they started becoming apparent? Most likely, you started to get anxious and thought about how being on a plane was the last place in the world you wanted to be. Those thoughts grew in momentum until you scared yourself witless, and this was even before the main cabin door was closed.

If, on the other hand, you feel nothing alarming, that’s fine. Begin to distract yourself with a magazine, a book, or music. But, to be sure, check your feelings regularly to see if there’s anything anxious lingering in the background.

By expecting that you may have a panic attack, you place yourself under less pressure when you start to feel anxious. There is a voice inside us that, when alerted to a potential panic attack, screams one of two things:

Please, God, not now. I can’t cope with this here. Red alert!

. . . or the positive and empowering

There you are. I was expecting you to show up. Well, show me what you’ve got. I’m ready, waiting, you have got 21 seconds.

So if you feel the beginnings of a panic attack, that’s fine. You were never trying to run away from it; in fact, you were hoping it would emerge so you could move through it.

The more you really demand to have an attack during the flight, the more empowered and confident you’ll feel in yourself. It can sometimes help to become a bit emotional or excited with the fear when you demand it to show itself, because this helps the emotions to release and flow. You may experience a hot flush when this happens.

It is expected to experience a rush of adrenaline on takeoff; notice that it has a wavelike effect. It courses through your body—and if you pay close attention, you’ll feel it pass quickly, in twenty or thirty seconds. Nothing to fear here. After it passes, confidence returns—until the next wave comes, and the next, until eventually you notice the pattern. And, by not reacting, the effect on you is nothing more than bodily sensations minus the panic.

I hope that helps with your airplane anxiety.

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